My journey with Marianne Williamson’s A Course in Weight Loss
Have you thought recently about who’s driving your bus in life? Is it the voice of Love or is it the voice of fear?
And how can you tell?
I couldn’t. I read all the right books, tried to do the right things to please my family, my friends, my work boss and yet I felt like I was living in a gnarly knot.
One of the books I read was Marianne Williamson’s A Course in Weight Loss. Ironically, I read about the danger of addictions and compulsive behaviours while doing my daily ride on the stationary bike, counting calories and trying to hide the book title from everyone else.
Even then I thought “I” was in control, so long as “I” ran a tight ship.
Three weeks ago, forced to stay still (again!) for health reasons, I picked it up for the third time and was shattered by the truth that I had denied for so long.
For the first time, I see how the voice of compulsion with that pushy, aggressive, obsessive and fearful drive ruled my life in almost every way, including around food, exercise and planning.
Well, the good news is that now the truth is out, we can do some healing work.
That which triggers you the most is your saving grace
In Marianne’s Course, which consists of 21 spiritual lessons, I saw that bigger issue behind my compulsions points to a spiritual bankruptcy or a lack of connection with God.
Its not so much what we eat or how much we exercise but what internal program is driving us that contributes to the choices we make in every aspect of our lives.
Obviously the solution was to build a relationship with my voice of God/Love, but Love has always felt so abstract and heady to me. What does Love mean or look like? How does it feel, sound, manifest?
Its complicated. But here’s an example of what I’ve learned. If we choose to eat volumes of junk food to fill an insatiable craving or act compulsively to avoid the pain of feeling our bodies and being honest, then we are choosing the voice of Fear.
But when we make space for feelings/pain to surface and transform our relationships with our scaredy parts bit by bit, then we can move towards a rebirth of our most natural selves – and Marianne promises that this is where the magic happens.
Has magic happened yet?
Yes, in unexpected ways that would take pages to describe. One of my biggest gifts is in learning to separate my compulsive energy from the still faint but peaceful part of me that is calm and solid.
Each moment offers a renewed opportunity to cultivate my peace and pro-actively engage my best self. Its the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do and yet I know that this is the only path to salvation.
Another gift has been to watch my weight and food cravings stabilize as I started to feel my body and give her the love she deserves just the way she is. We’re building a new relationship together as well.
I suppose magic is found in the unswerving commitment to keep going no matter how many times we fail.
It is in the tender insights we have along the way that lead to more optimism, kindness and courage.
Even just reading Marianne Williamson’s words have a powerful effect somewhere deep down. Perhaps you could keep this book in mind for yourself or for someone who may benefit from it. More magic to you.